Now Fear This! with Becky & Merie

12 Fears of Christmas, Fear #13: Holiday Shopping

For this year’s continuation of the 12 Fears of Christmas, join Becky & Merie as they discuss terrifying holiday shopping, sappy Hallmark movies, and some creeeeeeepy Christmastime disappearances. Along the way, they spread unconfirmed disinformation about Walmart and modern slavery. Also:

What’s all this about the violence in an invented county called Clarecork in Ireland? How long do those Forever 21 dresses last before they disintegrate? Long enough for you to snag yourself a prince from Malvadeniastan? Want to join Merie in all her watching of German torture porn? How ‘bout the scary violent guy who turns out to be prince AND saves the town square? Why not Christmas at Six Flags? Becky apologizes for the horrible French accents attempted by your pod-coasts. So…grab your pepper spray and let’s go shopping!

Fearing “Love, Actually”: The takedown, Director’s Cut Edition

Once upon a time, a girl named Becky watched a movie named “Love, Actually.” While most people react to said film with smiles and even reverence, Becky reacted with sadness ☹️, nausea 🤮, and even anger 🤬.

One year ago, Merie and Becky sat down to talk about this film as a part of their “12 Fears of Christmas.” The full episode had to be edited down to 15 minutes, thus inducing more ☹️, 🤮, and 🤬 in Becky, who really wants you to understand the horror show that is this movie, and experience her rage in all its 30-minute “bipedal vagina” glory (agony?). She really, REALLY hates this movie.

Your pod-coasts also offer the same unedited treatment for the episode with Merie’s attempts to diagnose Becky’s Love, Actually Psychological Condition. Find it on the BONUS page when you subscribe↑↑↑!

So, here it is! Becky & Merie’s 12 Fears of Christmas, Fear 4: “Love, Actually” (Director’s Cut). Enjoy!

Follow @thelindywest. Do it now.

He looks like the Porky’s sheriff's deputy! Fearing holiday meal family murder

This week’s Thanksgiving podcast episode has Merie and Becky examining nutso-deluxo cases of holiday meal-based family murders, featuring murderer Joel Guy, Jr. Along the way, they address the burning questions you didn’t know you had, like: Do YOU have a safety advisor around when you financially cut off your grown-assed adult human male child? (Perhaps you should. Especially if he looks like this guy ↓)

Does YOUR murder checklist always include Walmart? (Of course it does. Especially if it is written in this handwriting ↓)

Do you write letters to the authorities to prevent yourself from gouging out your roommate’s eyes? Will Merie pick YOU up from your surgery? (Hint: no.) Does the devil cause Becky’s prayer-based collapsing pillow debacle? 

Come for the can-shaped cranberries. Stay for Becky’s how-to-NOT-murder-your-parents-to-do list. Also, why is Becky fearing Merie’s penis hat? (See below & be terrified ↓. Very terrified.) 

 

 

Then there's Stemen the Semen Injector: Fearing internet challenge & meme-based deaths

This week’s podcast episode has Merie & Becky attempting to take on the latest internet challenge: Slap a teacher! No, not really. But they do give the NFT! treatment to silly and dangerous memes & challenges, like the gas tank drug-based car explosion murders and that whole milk crate debacle. Along the way, they address the burning questions you didn’t know you had, like:

What did YOU do when we lost gravity last May 22? Float? Us, either. If you have your fentanyl, do YOU use the fentanyl or randomly waste it by rubbing it on painter’s tape and scaring suburbanites? Isn’t it bad enough that Sharon Stone goes around being all heterosexual, but why does she have to throw it in our faces?! Is Merie legally obligated to point out Becky’s abnormally tall height in every 4th or 5th episode? How does a criminal gang in Texas lead to Becky breaking into a song from West Side Story? (Yes. She’s sorry about that.) Were YOU in the audience when Merie knocked herself out trying to get her yellow belt in TaeKwonDo? And did you laugh or cheer? How did Merie’s loud-assed voice effectively send her entire company into a meltdown for a day? Come for the “Ambiguously Gay Duo” Saturday Night Live superhero reference. Stay for advice on bringing a gun to the milk crate challenge.

Hernia surgery woulda been better! Fearing criminal twins & Hollywood’s malignant “Malignant”

Join Becky & Merie in this podcast episode, where they do not hold back on their scathing review of the god-awful horror show of a horror “movie” Malignant. They do, however, use said “movie” as a springboard for discussing crime as it relates to various & sundry twins and identities, parasitic or otherwise...so, there’s that. Along the way, believe it or not, your hosts also address the burning questions you didn’t know you had, like:

How come abandoned mental asylums are accessible only at night and during a rainstorm? Just how little did Becky pay attention to the “plot” of this episode’s spotlight movie? (Hint: verrrry little. Hey, YOU try watching it! No, wait, don’t.) Who is the poor man’s Bryce Dallas Howard and is that a…compliment? Just how inaccurate can your two pod-coasts be when talking about gender identity and dysmorphia? (And will you please forgive them…they’re trying!?) Would YOU watch a movie about Jim Henson’s nightmare twin muppets? Are space aliens responsible for a group of terrible crimes in a French resort town?

Come for Merie’s explanation of how twins are formed. Stay for Becky’s threat of horror-jazz ASMR.

Also, have YOU seen those abs?! (Us, either. Show us!)

Sources for this episode include: Merie’s ass. BBC. ABC News. Read about the murders of Yolanda Sapp, Kathleen Brisbois, and Nickie Lowe  here.

Fearing Ghosts! A Halloween spooky story mini scare-fest BONUS episode!

Welcome to the bonus podcast episode for Halloween 2021, featuring Becky and a lil bit of spooky storytelling.

Tune in for some ghosts 👻, a coupla stalkers & creepers 🔪, and more than one haunted house 😱.

If you like ‘em, let your pod-coasts know & maybe they can do more of this in the future!

These are from the “interwebs” AND include a couple of tales authored by Becky herself. The majority of these stories appear on multiple sites, where an author could not be found. Sites include: https://thoughtcatalog.com https://shortscarystories.tumblr.com. pinterest. reddit.

“Serial killers ruin everything!” Fearing crime & corpse-based Halloween decor

***Listen to the very end for a preview of Becky’s creepy ghost stories!!!***

This podcast episode has your hosts discussing dead bodies on porches, in trees, and hanging from roofs…some real, some not, but all in the name of Halloween. Along the way, they address the burning questions you didn’t know you had, like: Will Becky honor a gruesomely murdered Merie with bloody handprints on her glass door? Which one of your hosts is now branded an #entertainmentkaren? Which TV show requires Merie to insert…a catheter? What are your career prospects if your surname is Mother**ker-Asshole?…Perhaps an auto-body painter in Waco, Texas? Come for the slow-moving zombies. Stay for the decapitated head Pez dispenser.

Someday I’ll be a sexy cockroach! Fearing Texas’s “Candyman” murderer

This week’s podcast episode finds your hosts investigating the history of fear of Halloween trick or treat poisonings, which all began with a Pixie Stick and an EVIL, evil father. Along the way, Becky & Merie address the burning questions you didn’t know you had, like:

Why does Becky have to womansplain Beckysplaining to Merie? Wanna be a sexy poop emoji 💩 for Halloween? Is there any costume that sounds better than a sexy giant cheese wedge?! 🧀 Is that strychnine or is it cornstarch? 🤷‍♀️ How come Becky & Merie are not gonna kill kids with fruits and vegetables? 🍅 What leads Becky to utter the phrase, “We’re all busy tampons?” Come for the inaccurate descriptions of various household poisons. ☠️ Stay for Merie’s murder plot check list. 🔪 Watch the Cropsey documentary. And keep the lights on.

Sources for this episode include: Oxygen. Listverse. SF Gate. Snopes.

Further sources can be found here:
https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/six-banned-candies-you-wont-be-getting-on-halloween

https://thoughtcatalog.com/jim-goad/2014/10/13-brutal-halloween-murders-nsfw/

Does being magnetic make us X-Men? Fearing the COVID Disinformation Dozen

This week’s podcast episode finds Becky & Merie probing the fallout from the COVID Disinformation Dozen and the resulting public freakouts. Along the way, they address the burning questions you didn’t know you had, like:

Did a certain singer's cousin’s balls ever recover from swelling up the size of Alpha Centauri? How are surgical masks connected to child sex trafficking? (No, seriously. HOW?) Bill Gates is kind of an a**hole, but did he plan this?

Don’t you love it when there’s a big global conspiracy plan for global domination out there? (Neither does Becky.) Do you want to attend the New Delhi cow urine drinking party? How about camel urine? (Us, either.) What spoon-based science experiment may trigger you if you’re into ASMR? What happiness-based science cult is Merie threatening to embed herself in as a comedy journalist? Why is a woman who is not having anal sex responsible for…banning books in Texas? Is there video proof of a televangelist summoning the wind of God? Come for “the sexiest conversation we’ve ever had on this show.” Stay for the…violet-dipped anal swabs? 🤷‍♀️

Follow Patton Oswald. NOW.

Sources for this episode include: MSNBC’s Brian William with the mic drop.

And you can see the Texas mom anal sex freakout here: https://www.tmz.com/2021/09/19/texas-mother-austin-school-board-meeting-anal-sex-book/

Walter’s purr will be the last thing you hear! Fearing greedy serial killer Pam Hupp

In this week’s podcast episode, Becky & Merie take on the bizarre & murderous crime spree of Missouri’s Pam Hupp, who murdered at least two people in cold blood…that we know of.

Along the way, your hosts address the burning questions you didn't know you had, like:

Body horror: genius or genuinely f**king awful? Is there such a thing as "sexually sedentary?" What in the hell causes one of your pod-coasts to utter the phrase, “You don’t want to see a woman get raped by a car?” Was the Academy Award-winning Korean film “Parasite” actually, sneakily, done in Mandarin Chinese? (According to super-smart Amazon “reviewers,” yes.) Do YOU re-enact 911 calls as a hobby or pretend to be a Dateline NBC producer to lure people to your home? (Well…maybe you’ll stop after this show.) What is Merie’s cat-based murder plot? Come for Merie’s British zombie doctor monologuing that gets Becky hiccup-laughing. Stay for the short hair-based doomsday cult.

Sources for this episode include: Oxygen. filmdaily.com. St. Louis Today. Dateline’s There’s Something about Pam podcast.